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I need feedback

My mother is telling me a new story i posted is lame, sucks, etc... please read and tell me if you think so or not. I would really like all comments. I want to work on my writing. thx.
Chats Views 38 By individulsong on 7-7-07 Refresh Page


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At 07:07 pm individulsong Said :
+2  

lol, and yes i commented twice so i voted myself down.
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At 07:06 pm individulsong Said :
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http://www.testriffic.com/story/individulsong/12757 that is the link to my story. It's called Kane.
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At 07:06 pm individulsong Said :
+2  

http://www.testriffic.com/story/individulsong/12757 that is the link to my story. It's called Kane.
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