my grandfather had cancer and he died may 24 2007. he was 75 years old. today was the funeral and it was really the first one i have been too. i knew i would be upset but i didn't know about how much. as i was looking at the casket i just began to cry because i loved him, yet i didn't know him. i've known that he had been sick and i didn't call him or anything. i knew he was doing badly and yet i didn't even try to call him. i feel so horrible now because when i had the last chance to talk to him and i blew it and hid away. thinking that maybe if i go into denyal then he would get better. i should have known better. reality hurts.