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Author's Comments
A poem I wrote for my friend...Rate this Poem
Info
Created:
02/24 2009
Views:
175
Category:
Pain
My Poems
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22
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Lost In Your Eyes |
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16
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Lullaby |
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18
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Shadowmaker |
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19
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A Way With Words |
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13
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His Suicide Song |
His Suicide Song
Why do you feel
Like letting go
You think it's all you've got
The urge
The desire
The need
To cut away your pain
To swallow your hurt
To blow away your future
You can't make it go away
Long enough to heal
To feel
The hope that I know
Is somewhere beneath it all
You play your charade
A careful masquerade
"Fuck you"
Is your way of trying to hide
But I know what you're concealing
I've been there too
The urge
The desire
The need
To cut away your pain
To swallow your hurt
To blow away your future
But I saw
Somewhere beneath it all
That glimmer of hope
Part of it is you
That gives me the strength
To make it through today
And the next day
I'm asking you not to leave
I want you
I need you
To be with me
Forever...
Please Login to post comments| On June 3rd 2009 justlikeasong Said: |
| awwwww this is sad i love itt :3 i rated it :] |
| On May 21st 2009 MyBrokenMirror Said: |
| I totally understand this one. With the life is right now. I really like the whole concept of this poem & everything. |
| On April 9th 2009 AlBobby Said: |
| this is so sweet. and well written. [reminds me of my second love |
| On March 13th 2009 City5 Said: |
| wow, that was deep! |
| On March 11th 2009 ruskiya Said: |
| wow! really touching! God bless u girl! |
| On March 11th 2009 Mogeygriffin Said: |
| its good, I couldn't quite catch the rythym but I'm having an ADD moment so I doubt its your fault ;) It is very good though. |
| On March 10th 2009 nickjonson Said: |
| This is nice. It's a sweet thing to write for a friend. Because I believe in making people improve their skills, I'll give you sum constructive critique. First of all, if you can't rhyme, don't try so hard otherwise you'll come up with really cheesy really generic lines. When you go to write poems, you wanna "capture" emotion on the paper, I definitely feel there is some emotion in this, but not enough...I know it's hard sometimes to focus the emotion and to write the right words, but that just comes with practice.
this looks nice tho, just keep workin at it. |
| On March 10th 2009 DashboardLogic Said: |
| Awww. You're such a good friend. I wish someone would have did this for me when I was going through a bad time. |
| On March 9th 2009 xheatherxcorex Said: |
| Thank you.
And no, it's not to a friend I dated. |
| On March 8th 2009 sweetkelli16 Said: |
| That's incredible... It's really good... better than I've ever written!! |
| On March 5th 2009 lillex64 Said: |
| wow! |
| On March 5th 2009 shadow211477kb Said: |
| hehe...may i ask if this is to a friend you dated? |
| On March 5th 2009 Sunloverz Said: |
| so intense |
| On March 4th 2009 firefox92 Said: |
| LOVE IT!! |
| On February 25th 2009 blindingemo Said: |
| great job, very nicely written |
| On February 24th 2009 jacksgurl101 Said: |
| i love this poem it has so much meaning |
