hatred and denial

I feel her dissapointment,
I'm a failure once again.
She hates me so... I know it,
She's done this since i was ten.

She loves the others better,
She gives them all the attention,
It Hurts me, Feels so bitter.
I cry as i pick up that blade again.

I failed her as a daughter,
She cares not of my life,
I hate that i can't do better,
I live with her in strife.

That blade touches my skin,
A sensation that feels so good,
I smile and cry at the same time,
A way that no one else should.

Thank you for denying me,
My birthright and my clan,
Thank you for hating me,
My path and my friends.

I had friends, i had love,
i had life, I was happy.
I will end it all, maybe then it will suffice,
I will scurry away from her, like a helpless group of mice.

Good bye dear mother,
i tried to make you smile.
I failed you once again,
just like once in a while.