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The Very Last Tear

Stains

Views (368) Passion Created on 1-6-08 Flag

 

My stereo’s blaring

And I’m screaming

As loud as I can,

So that you won’t hear

When I finally hit the floor.

That girl you thought you knew

No longer exists.

Collapsing under your expectations,

I don’t know what to feel anymore.

I was always a dreamer,

Maybe someday we’ll write this story.

The beat gets louder.

Slowly I fall into the

Accelerating rhythm of raw emotion.

My eyes close,

Just like your mind,

And everything begins to spin.

Just like I promised,

I hit the floor hard,

Staining the paper

Covered with words spoken from your lips. 

 

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On January 15th 2008 antoinetterys Said :
antoinetterys love it =p
On January 13th 2008 comacozi101 Said :
comacozi101 i get "stained the paper" it adds on to the feeling and the emotion in the poem. Keep writing the way you were/are. It's awesome and I just love the way you write
On January 11th 2008 PoeticPang Said :
PoeticPang i'm not so sure what i'm getting at here,, reading it again a few times,, third time,, what is this meaning of the "stained paper?"..... i'm sure it's got something more than to do with suicide????... O.o?.... it has this great shortness in the reading format i like tho,, the shortness of sentences or phrasings,, really quick and to the point,, gives the reader the emotion,, just the ending is abit iffy.... and, uh,, the first part,,, i was thinking,, it just feels like ur headbanging and doing something fun ,, (like i do! ^o^) and i'm assuming u fall down in exhaustion,,, cause if this is so,, then it's a great find,, if not,, and it's something totally different,, uhmm,, yeah,, i don't get it,, ,,, ,,, ,,, ,,, i like to think it's about headbanging though,,, so,, lol,, u may let me know what it is about ,,, but i'd still prefer to let u know,, i'd be so much better a poem if it was something more originall about something other than,, well what some people are saying below,, i don't find people writing about suicide much interesting anymore,,, soo last year! XD....(even tho some of mine are obviously emo nowadays,, uhmmm,, they have something of a optimistic twist, u seee?) oke i'm rambling now,,, but,, i still like it,,, the whole format and whatnot,,, just the meaning has an iffy thinking.... anywhooooo nice work,, keep it up and lalalalaaa~~~~~~~~~~~~~Pang
On January 8th 2008 Anthonyn1991 Said :
Anthonyn1991 Just another poem about suicide and this one doesnt stand out from any of the others. Just my opinion
On January 7th 2008 lisaljb Said :
lisaljb I love this style, keep it up hun! Barely even rhymes, which makes me love it even more! haha! well done!
On January 7th 2008 eldestgoddess Said :
eldestgoddess Hmm, reminds me of my past.
On January 7th 2008 evildarkness13 Said :
evildarkness13 amazing
On January 7th 2008 Jumpy1811 Said :
Jumpy1811 i love it it's very good
On January 7th 2008 Daemion Said :
Daemion one thing... the word "anymore" is VERY unpoetic... try to think of a replacement... but other than that you have a good one here... congrats
On January 6th 2008 ha7 Said :
ha7 excellent! Loved the feel of it and the feelings in it.
On January 6th 2008 mknct4ever Said :
mknct4ever awesome, u really tie things in and it can have so many meanings!!! great job
On January 6th 2008 comacozi101 Said :
comacozi101 amazing
On January 6th 2008 morbidangel585 Said :
morbidangel585 wow..loved this one!
On January 6th 2008 babydoll3130 Said :
babydoll3130 WHEN U R READING THIS DONT STOP OR SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN MY NAME IS SUMMER I AM 15 YEARS OLD i have BLONDE HAIR , SCARS no NOSE OR EARS I AM DEAD IF U DONT COPY THIS JUS LIKE FROM THE RING COPY N POST THIS ON 5 MORE SITES OR I WILL APPEAR ONE CREEPY NIGHT WEN UR NOT ExPECTING IT BY YOUR BED WITH A NIFE AND KILL U THIS IS NO JOKE SUMMET ING GOOD WILL HAPPEN TO U IF YOU POST THIS ON 5 MORE FLASH BOXES
On January 6th 2008 assumetheworst Said :
assumetheworst awsome i likey alots ^-^
On January 6th 2008 rumcake2daend Said :
rumcake2daend this was so emotional that i could feel with every word
On January 6th 2008 xxxAngelicaxxx Said :
xxxAngelicaxxx this is really good just like all your poems. you are a great writer.
On January 6th 2008 TheDragonwitch Said :
TheDragonwitch really well done ! Love the way all aspects are related and coexsist.
On January 6th 2008 beatricehomo Said :
beatricehomo Omg! You're a great poet, seriously this is really good! kudossss xD
On January 6th 2008 jetkills Said :
jetkills wow that amazing ^-^
On January 6th 2008 mydragonlord Said :
mydragonlord i love the feel you created by tieing in your emotions with the music, brilliantly written.
On January 6th 2008 Bexi93 Said :
Bexi93 dam tht awesum man. i especially like the end bit ... i hit the floor hard, staining the paper, coverd with the words spoken from your lips. tht intense
On January 6th 2008 ralicia Said :
ralicia pretty cool!
On January 6th 2008 VampireLover93 Said :
VampireLover93 sweet I love it
On January 6th 2008 KaosQueen Said :
KaosQueen oh wow this is awesom!!!! ^_^ i love it