i wish....

I wish I was born less pretty
so that maybe things would have changed
different perspectives
and different views
and maybe a tad more behaved.

I wish I didn’t develop so soon
and give you less things to touch
delay maturity a little
watch cartoons
and other kiddie things as such.

I wish I had a louder voice
so that I could have told you no
 even a whisper
or a whimper
any kind of emotion to show

I wish I was born more stronger
so then I wouldn’t have been so afraid
and after all those nights when you came and went
with strength, I wouldn’t have stayed

sometimes I wish I wasn’t born at all
even after trying to look above
but I think back on it all
and everything you did
dad, that is not what I call love