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i changed a line.Rate this Poem
My Poems
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7
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my mind |
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6
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torn in two |
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8
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uncontrolable |
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7
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shoot me now |
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9
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not enough |
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one day |
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kill me now |
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who will help the fallen? |
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3
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no more |
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3
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no more( verson 2) |
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to be set free |
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End |
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release |
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love |
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suicide |
love (verson 2)
Views (47)
Created on 3-5-08
falling stars are falling hearst. never heard but fragel to the touch. broken into pieces. love is just a lie. Your life is so-called priceless. But what about mine?
Please Login to post comments| On March 9th 2008 mcihellejane Said : | |
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Wow, I'm thinking it's a tie. I'm almost thinking that I like the first one maybe a little better. I think I understand where your last line came from in the other one now, after reading this one. W/ this one I would maybe edit "your life...priceless" maybe to something like "Your life you deem priceless" Maybe, I dunno...I'm glad that you wrote this second version though-it helped me understand a little better where you are coming from. Let me know which you decide to go with!! |
| On March 6th 2008 muse4apoem Said : | |
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I disagree I liked the other one more! This one is a lil....Hmm...Sketchy. |
| On March 5th 2008 iMorphinexX Said : | |
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I like this one more. It's short, deep, and to the point. |
