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hrmm,,,Rate this Poem
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Ominous |
Z-D
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Created on 12-18-07
Stuck in a mile zone
Away from all things prickly
The joyride through unconventionality
in the mist and haze beneath normalcy
Where there’s no such thing as infamy
Gone is all committed perfidies
There’s a three-way sign
Pointing to eternity, reality, and serendipity
Life is better when you roam
Do all the things you postponed
Look for everything in life you meant to find
This opportunity might be the only time
Spend it sparingly in the light of distressing scene
Just let no one know where you intend to go
It’ll ruin the coming of the road to ecstasy.
Away from all things prickly
The joyride through unconventionality
in the mist and haze beneath normalcy
Where there’s no such thing as infamy
Gone is all committed perfidies
There’s a three-way sign
Pointing to eternity, reality, and serendipity
Life is better when you roam
Do all the things you postponed
Look for everything in life you meant to find
This opportunity might be the only time
Spend it sparingly in the light of distressing scene
Just let no one know where you intend to go
It’ll ruin the coming of the road to ecstasy.
Please Login to post comments| On December 22nd 2007 jazzyacorn Said : | |
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You're right; the eight lines go well together. The end of those lines leaves a pondering/inquisitive sort of Road Less Taken feeling. Hmmmm....the rest could be another poem or you could put something between lines 9 and 10 to connect the beginning and end more. "It’ll ruin the coming of the road to ecstasy."-oooooh =). There's something about the word ecstasy that is so intriguing. |
| On December 21st 2007 PoeticPang Said : | |
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hmmmmm......... i don't think the rhyming worked much,, those words didn't connect in my head as i was reading it,, and what on earth are u trying to imply???? ~~~~~~~~~~Pangi |
| On December 21st 2007 unknownwolfie Said : | |
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kool! |
| On December 20th 2007 pinkheffalump Said : | |
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AIMS serendipity you totally took from that manga series name...aims, your a biter. |
| On December 19th 2007 Snooky9e Said : | |
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wow...this is very good...u have a very good use of words... |
| On December 19th 2007 Chula252 Said : | |
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Very nice hmmmm two stanzas maybe to serperate the transition but I deffinately believe it all belongs in one poem. Well done!!! I especially love how vivid the imagery is in this piece. |
| On December 18th 2007 Smarties4 Said : | |
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Yeah, they could have been two poems, but then again, as one poem it really makes you think. Anyway, amazingly awesome as always - ha! I have such good alliteration - I love your word choices |
| On December 18th 2007 California1516 Said : | |
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i agree..they could be two seperate poems tho:Dlovely wording tho..nice job |
| On December 18th 2007 thatbluewoman Said : | |
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maybe i should have left it after the first eight lines....the rest doesn't soun right.. |
