Up and Down

Up and down

my emotions go

crazy and haywired

changing quickly, to and fro.

Words cross my mind

to describe this insanity

delusions, depressions

anger and anxiety.

They kill my socially

and cost me my friends

but I want them to go away

for this roller coaster to end.

I've tried so much

to make them go away

to talk to people

but here they stay.

What should I do

to see a new light

to grasp a new concept

on my dwindling life?

I want to often die

to go away forever

but then I think of you

and then say never.

What happens to us

stuck in between realms

of happiness and sadness

do we ever find ourselves?

A clue to my predicament

is that I am jovial

around the happy you

not thinking so trivial.

So there must be hope

for me after all

there must be something

after this social fall.

I'll call you when I get there

to the place of happiness

and tell you that I want to

see you no less.