No Words

I’m laying here with flowing tears, the one good thing going, is now almost gone
I’m breathing hard, but no oxygen gets to my lungs,
I’m not quite sure but there are no words. No words to describe today
as my stomach turns again, nothing is being held in,
no words. No words can explain how i feel

empty anger flowing growing then falling to tears...falling to grief, falling, dragging me down, down, I’m so far down, i need my ladder to help me out...but for this ladder is not here, she is not here, i know she wishes to be but can not....I’m sinking into this deepest parts of my mind...stomach turning head spinning, who is really winning

no words no words can explain her

she is the sunrise, and the sunset, her eyes shine like some kind of jewel, a secret smile only i have seen, and pure beauty that the sun and the angels can not match, a personality like no other, o brother is she one fine catch, but only a catch and release it seems at the moment

the only thing known is how i love her...

taking her is my suicide, a suicide that will never come
for i know what it would do to her. And i couldn’t do that to her

more threats more pain than i have to bare
how much more can one man take t
they do not care, they do not care
they think there doing the best when they are doing the worst

another threat, no this one a promise
more pain more pain

babe do not think any pain is caused by you
for you are the one that i can give it up to
the one to pull me from that sinking hole
my ladder my ladder...i need you...my ladder

for this is the symphony of a broken man
not a man quite yet, still a teen, still alive
barley alive...o for this is what they want

what is that a .22 sitting on my desk
Click,Click,Click,Click,Click,Click

all blanks no fair...
o for that is right they want my suicide but only tease with empty shots

that’s ok even if one was real my vest would have left me with a broken rib not a bleeding heart, but yet it bleeds without a gun, how is this, how is this

broken is I the one she loves

for one thing they can never take is our love...one thing that will never break is our love

now words can describe...no words give it justice

for they think i want a taste but all I REALLY WANT IS THAT RING ON THAT INDEX FINGER....but no, no i lie , i lie....he surely just wants a taste....IF I WANTED IT I COULD HAVE TAKEN IT A LONG TIME AGO.....IS THAT Y I STILL REMAIN A VIRGIN....…?

no words can help no words can heal except...for words by a select few...that want my suicide

and from the one so dearly loved

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remember babe...if you ever read this i love you and NO ONE ELSE,.. I TRUST YOU ABOVE ALL ELSE....I WILL WAIT.....i love you more than they will ever know

p.s.
and I know even if those who this is intended for would read it, it wouldn’t matter