I Stand Alone

I feel so alone

Like floating in everlasting darkness

With nothing around me but emptiness and fear

I want to cry

To rid all my troubles and have my emotions set free

To release them from the bottle I kept inside

My head hurts

I'm close to tears

Why do I wallow in self-pitty?

Now I just feel worse

Do they really understand?

Or are they just pretending to?

I guess I stand alone in this world

Always have from the beginning

Music and books are my only escape from reality

My sanctuary that sets apart fantasies from the cruel reality I face

Why do I feel so guilty?

Is it that I know other people have it much more worse than I do?

Is it that I'm supposed to have a perfect life?

And not feel this way?

Why do I feel that I don't deserve to be sad

That I'm forced to be happy all the time

Like some sort of empty programmed piece of machinery

Why is it that I smile and laugh

But later frown and cry?

Is there something wrong with me?

I shouldn't feel lonely

I have a good life

Good family

Good friends

But why do I feel so sad?

I just want to cry

And it hurts keeping them inside

Am I really worth anything?

Or am I just a flaw in this perfect world God created?

I don't understand why

I guess in reality

when it comes to me and the world

I stand alone