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Half drunk when I wrote this~Rate this Poem
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My Poems
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31
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Ana~Mia |
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27
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My Eyes... |
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15
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MAYBE~ |
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21
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Forest |
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21
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Flower* |
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18
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Dreaming |
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17
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Everything's Crying~ |
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17
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Untitled* |
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12
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Untitled |
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16
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It's nameless~ |
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19
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I wish |
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18
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Feel Nothing |
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19
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Floating~ |
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20
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Untitled |
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17
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I won't~ |
Caging
Soul dances cleverly
When you're drunk from hunger
Desires leave you darkness
Crashes in like thunder
I love him for he's casual
Like my worn~in jeans
I'd rather keep it casual
Something overseen
The trees outside my window
They watch my every tear
Swallow their reactions
I like to have them near
I thought I knew of sadness
So sure I knew it all
Then when you're soaked in madness
You're bound to hear your fall
I look back to old moments
Some sense I must've missed
Like beauty stranded bliss
Or something in his kiss
Forward sometimes scares me
Like sad makes one feel older
Like snowflakes on the tree
Will haunt it il it's colder
All yesterdays seem free
So now they're caging me~
Please Login to post comments| On June 7th 2008 Thuggishone Said: |
| well, My momma dropped me on my head so stop trying to confuse me with all theses different styles awww geez go ahead your still stuck in the 60's...lol...I likes me a young 60's girl with some words for the world to hear loud and clear...lovely |
| On June 7th 2008 orangefizzpop Said: |
| this is such a quiet poem, the soft ones that don't call attention to themselves but still has meaning that rings true. Really lovely poem! |
| On June 5th 2008 Thugnastay227 Said: |
| lately i've been reading some poems so good i cant think of anything adequate to say about how good it is. this is one of those poems |
| On June 3rd 2008 tiffany1058 Said: |
| wow this one is really good |
| On June 3rd 2008 chayeah22 Said: |
| "I thought I knew of sadness
So sure I knew it all Then when you're soaked in madness You're bound to hear your fall Those are my favorite lines. It's like you thought you knew how low you could get until something worse happens. It really spoke to me. LOVED IT! |
| On June 3rd 2008 xHickChick789x Said: |
| wow this is very nice. It's amazing! Nicely written... keep it up :) |
| On June 2nd 2008 Pikkakard Said: |
| Now that is one heck of a comment, JakeBozz. I enjoyed reading that almost as much as I enjoyed reading this poem. I've tried to write after a few drinks but it never seems to make sense. lol |
| On June 2nd 2008 muse4apoem Said: |
| This is beautiful in a nightmare sort of way. :) |
| On June 1st 2008 toriayla16 Said: |
| I love this! keep it up! |
| On June 1st 2008 JakeBozz Said: |
| Wow this is good it speaks piano-sided played singing the words by you, I loved the imagery towards the beginning and it rather faded towards the end with the rhyme scheme stealing the focus point - " The trees outside my window
They watch my every tear" You have to really slow your thinking process down and read the words with a whisper to catch their meaning, spoken-word lyrics sung and half-drunk opens up amazing feelings, doesn't it? A wisp of melancholy, a wisp of past, a wisp, "drunk from hunger" hit hard and the love you wish to hold in a year that seems like yesterday. It's strong, my only thing is (here it comes!) the rhyming scheme - it'd make your points soooo much more stronger if you hadn't rhymed, but ahh there were some little lines here that were alright and painted a stronger portrait with the rhyming :) Good one. |
| On June 1st 2008 gonzo4201 Said: |
| very interesting, I liked this. Keep it up!! |
| On June 1st 2008 sixtiesdoll Said: |
| Typo* il should read til~ |
| On June 1st 2008 deadpoet Said: |
| you're a good poet, this poem hit me. (sorry you havent read any comments by me. its just i normally dont leave comments on poems) |
