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Author's Comments
I just wrote it~Rate this Poem
Info
My Poems
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31
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Ana~Mia |
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27
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My Eyes... |
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15
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MAYBE~ |
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21
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Forest |
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21
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Flower* |
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18
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Dreaming |
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17
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Everything's Crying~ |
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17
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Untitled* |
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12
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Untitled |
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16
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It's nameless~ |
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19
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I wish |
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18
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Feel Nothing |
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19
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Floating~ |
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20
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Untitled |
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17
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I won't~ |
She stepped up to the tracks*
She stepped up to the tracks
Heard the music of the train
Pondered all the things she lacks
Heard the man call her insane
and so she felt it...
Earlier that day
She played her memories in surround sound
Could't get away
From the story that made her heart pound
and so she burnt it...
Fire melting her words
She wanders her way to danger
Higher than some birds
Where everything seems stranger
and so she left it...
The sparkle never left her eyes
Even in all her distractions
Her eyes are somewhere in the sky
Trying to forgive his actions
and so she loves him...
She stepped up to the tracks
Heard the music from the train
Pondered all his horrid masks
Chancing suicide in her brain
and so...
she couldn't~
Please Login to post comments| On April 3rd 2008 mypoeticrage Said: |
| wow..very vivid and capturing, I could feel each emotion as you unraveled the 'story' inside the poetry. i give you a 'thumb up' |
| On April 2nd 2008 Jermie6363 Said: |
| this is my fav of all yours! |
| On March 24th 2008 counterpart Said: |
| wow. loved it! |
| On March 22nd 2008 sliversideup Said: |
| amazing
i love the powerful turn around at the end very nice job :) |
| On March 21st 2008 sageravens Said: |
| It is reality and thought both used at once. The little tail at the end of each stanza feels perfect when I read it. Very vivid, very desolate, and very good. Kudos to you. |
| On March 20th 2008 amackey1988 Said: |
| Thats very good, I like it and i'm pretty harsh and critical when it comes to poetry. Excellent work. |
| On March 20th 2008 muse4apoem Said: |
| This is nice girl keep up the good work! :) |
| On March 19th 2008 Thuggishone Said: |
| lovely. |
| On March 19th 2008 hiphuney420 Said: |
| oh this is brilliant!!! |
| On March 19th 2008 101091 Said: |
| Amazing... I'm at a loss for words. |
| On March 18th 2008 flutytute Said: |
| Wow, brilliant is all I can say! You express what I seem to can't!! Amazing!! |
| On March 18th 2008 LadyCha0s Said: |
| wow i love it! wonderful job sweetie. and i agree with lillex! |
| On March 18th 2008 chayeah22 Said: |
| Very deep and emotional! I loved it! |
| On March 18th 2008 sadee309 Said: |
| wow... i love htis.. it is so amazing! |
| On March 18th 2008 lillex64 Said: |
| that would be a good story. Have it like start off the girl walks up to commit suicide, as she stands there, her entire life flashes by. And the whole stories about her life and memories. And then end it with does she die or live? lol. good poem btw! |
| On March 18th 2008 Kep89 Said: |
| amazing job. lovely, whats new about that? lol |
| On March 18th 2008 mcrfan4life66 Said: |
| Wow this is very beautiful!! |
| On March 18th 2008 kesaia1029 Said: |
| prettyfulness!!=D.keep writing!! or else =O lol |
| On March 18th 2008 morbidangel585 Said: |
| wow that is awesome how you did it but very sad. loved it |
| On March 18th 2008 chinadoll1215 Said: |
| Very...creative!
Well done!
BEAUTIFUL!
:]
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| On March 18th 2008 xHickChick789x Said: |
| I really like this. Very unique! Great work! Keep it up! :) |
| On March 18th 2008 stef4732 Said: |
| Oh i love it very well put together |
| On March 18th 2008 pjjustin Said: |
| this is really something, i like it! |
| On March 18th 2008 Pikkakard Said: |
| Very creative. I enjoyed this one a lot. |
| On March 18th 2008 gonzo4201 Said: |
| wonderfully done, loved the way you did this, very creative imagery |
