DEAR

I kept you close.

Love never faltered.

I called you a bitch.

You called me an asshole.

I gave you my heart.

You trampled all over it like I didn't even matter.

Yet I still come to your aid.

What the fuck am I supposed to do.

My friends say fuck that bitch.

I say fuck you I love that chic.

You know what...Fuck it all.

Fuck love

Fuck politics

Fuck drugs

Fuck life

I gave every thing to you.

All I get is hell.

But all of that does not matter.

I love one and only one.

Love the one next to you.

Love your family.

Love the one who has faith in you.

Hate the one who keeps secrets.

Hate the one who causes conflict.

Hate, Hate, Hate

All I see is hate.

All I want is love, love, love.

Fuck you

Fuck this

Fuck hate

Fuck love

Fuck life

I want it all to end...Just respect life.

Before death all you say is “Alex don't leave” so I don't.

At least until I have to.

But I come back even if I should not.

You pass out and I cant stop crying.

The paramedics say you have five minutes to live.

I cant stop puking.

I live on caffeine cant sleep cant eat.

I'm laying there shaking and staving praying for

someone to turnout the lights.

I get a call saying “I love you”...(an ex)...I say fuck off.

They said you would not be back.

My mouth fell open.

Hoping that the truth would not be true.

I refuse the news.

I say “All I do is lose and lose and if I

lose her I leave and its over”

All I want is for you to requite my love.

I love you.

I love life.

I love the sky and the trees.

I am nothing and I am a weakling.

Yet I can fuck his shit up.

He says peace I say war.

Yes over a fucking girl.

Go ahead kick my ass but beware I bite back...way harder.

I love you.

I hate you.

I adore you.

I loath you.

Ill kill for you.

Id give anything for you.

Id spend a lifetime with you.

But what would you give for me.

I give you every thing but all you give me is....I see you and cant help but smile.

Your not stupid...Your acting like a fucking dumbass.

If you were a guy I would beat your face in...But I have to much respect for woman.

I feel that I care to much.

They say no I'm a good man.

I say fuck you.

You don't understand.

They say get over it.

All I want at moment is to slit there throat.

But why...really?

Why not just slit mine.

That would solve many problems.

I step back and say you selfish fucking asshole.

Look at your friends and family they love you too much or is it just a game.

If so I lost.

God must be so ashamed.

Look what he created.

He gave us thumbs we forge a blade and cut our brother down all over greed.

Fuck whoever thought of greed.

Fuck god.

Fuck health.

Fuck sickness.

Fuck life.

Fuck death.

Fuck everything.

Yet I love all of it.

I cant stand death.

I cant stand hate.

I cant stand politics.

I cant stand war.

I cant stand pain.

I cant watch pain or inflict it.

I wont give up and I don't give up.

All I can do is keep fighting and no matter how much I lose it is all worth it in the end if I get to see you one more day.