Painfully Sober

It takes too long to get stoned anymore

Makes sitting there smoking seem like a bore

So what the fuck am I doing it for?!

All life's joys are becoming a chore.

I'd like things to change, I really would.

For a moment or two, if maybe, they could.

Depression tells me a change could be good.

Then sitting here smoking might do what it should.

You know how they say "the grass is greener on the other side?"

Or how "you may never know until you have tried?"

But I don't know if I can change, my brain-cells are fried.

I know what its like to have failed and then cried.

My thoughts won't cloud over, I want them to fade!!!

My heart strings are tattered; tearing and frayed

Dreams aren't stirring and I'm sharp as a blade.

Anything for toxicity, my soul I would trade.

Finally, thank you, somebody heard my plea..

This stuff is stronger, so it should help me.

I tossed out the other, it was so nasty.

And NOW I can fog my brain, so the world's clear enough to see.

 ~d. koska feb. 16, 2oo8