dont know ne more

He said he loved me.  Said he didnt care.  Said he'd never leave me and still.. he was never there.
I dont know what to do with my self.  Hes completely destroyed my mental health.
With no self esteem and no higher goals I feel like im just treading water or walking on hot coals.
"I'll stand by your side." he promised with haste.  Both of our time.. he said he wouldnt waste.
I truly believe that he may be the one and I really think a part of him has gone.
To where I'm not sure or why even for that matter. but my heart grows colder and my thoughts grow sadder.
No matter what I do, Its never right.  I mess up a little worse every single night.
I try so hard to make it all work out and yet my hopes all crash down full of doubt.
When does it stop. Where will it end. And no matter what blame to me will he send.
And when I start to show how down I am he doesnt even lend out his hand.
When I get scared or tired of it all... he doesnt offer to help break my fall.
His shoulders are cold and of no comfort to me... His eyes are so steely and impatient when I need him to see.
Why doesn't he listen or seem to care.. Whats right is right.. Life isnt fair.



Danyel Lyn Koska