I Die Inside

turn the sound off listen watch as the rain falls and the trees glisten smoldering of a fire in my eyes funny how the heat of my pain can hypnotize close your eyes now images fading no time for fooling around just concentrating sounds of doom sitting here in my room plotting to do what is untrue to show you that i am what i plan to always be and no matter what i am still always me and i cant help if sometimes you think i changed its just life and problems to be solved and rearranged i can breathe the moments of desolation where i stand alone in my trials and tribulations no fear but the fear of life itself and no one but myself therefore no help i am dying inside and i am not trying to be dramatic so badly changing and my moods are so sparatic i cant even think my mind is so badly clouded and i try to cry about my life so highly doubted i doubt myself daily to make the pain ok but i realize this wont ever go away i need help but i have no one to on all thats left is pain and the other feelings have all gone away to the end end of all time and before you finish this i have already crossed the border line of pain and agony to suffer and despair but i cant act like you actually care cuz i know you dont nor will you ever so i die inside and my life dies forever...........