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My hand in death

Views (519) Fear Created on 1-4-08 Flag

Slowly I turn the corner, from my hiding,

You have closed & locked your door,

I smile in anticipation of the coming.

 

In step behind you, I fall,

Catching your sent on the flowing breeze,

You are just rite, nether short nor tall.

 

I start to hasten my pace,

You are nearing my special haunt,

So near, my heart begins to race.

 

I can see your soft, beautiful face,

No one is looking, I grab you and we tumble,

Of your struggle there will be no trace.

 

My hand covers your mouth, with eyes wide,

“They can not hear you, little lady.”

As you kick and thrash, how I enjoy the ride.

 

You stop your struggle, as I place my blade against your throat,

Slowly I pull, filling with glee as it create the slit,

“Hush little lady, Soon you will in Hades boat.”

 

The look of horror that fill your eyes,

Sends waves of delight through my blood,

As life runs from your veins.

 

Slowly the light leaves your eyes,

Your breathing slows till finally,

You reach your demise.

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On April 27th 2008 spicer420 Said :
my picture
you need fuckin jesus
On February 26th 2008 mcihellejane Said :
mcihellejane Well, that's a bit creepy! It's unique in that it is in the point of view of the agressor. I really like that you took on that persona-a great write if you ask me!! I think you deserve all the votes that you got on it, I'm not sure what hpriestess is talking 'bout. Poetry is beautiful regardless the topic. Anyhow-two thumbs up!!
On January 15th 2008 hpriestess Said :
hpriestess Quite honestly, I don't understand how you have gotten so many votes on this one. It's a little on the creepy serial killer side. It might be good writing but one should not write such things so out of context. This is something one writes in a horror book, hopefully one of fiction, not in a poem
On January 6th 2008 cjaskot Said :
cjaskot interesting...lol very good tho=]
On January 6th 2008 DeathMetalPunk Said :
DeathMetalPunk Totally reminds me of Lord of the Flies.
On January 5th 2008 xxxrassidatou1 Said :
my picture
love this poem :)
On January 5th 2008 DemonzR4eva Said :
DemonzR4eva i love it... pm 4 anything new
On January 5th 2008 101091 Said :
101091 Yet again very good. A little on the morbid side but still fabulous work.
On January 5th 2008 kellyjob Said :
kellyjob Good job! A bit on the scary side but very primal. You did a good job of taping into that animalistic side of humanity. Cause when I read it, the character reminded me of a wolf on the hunt. Very good imagery!
On January 5th 2008 ILuvNeoma Said :
ILuvNeoma Thats really good. ^_^
On January 4th 2008 morbidangel585 Said :
morbidangel585 woah i love this one! sure its ones nightmare..but anothers delight..i liked this =]
On January 4th 2008 DeathMetalPunk Said :
DeathMetalPunk HECK NO this deosn't suck. Yea Charles Manson or Tim Jones couldn't have done it better.
On January 4th 2008 Thugnastay227 Said :
Thugnastay227 damn man..... how chuck manson of u. lol
On January 4th 2008 deshanna13 Said :
deshanna13 doesnt suck its real good how you write it becuz you can just imaging it
On January 4th 2008 jjsmomm682006 Said :
jjsmomm682006 great poem, scary abit but great none-the-less.
On January 4th 2008 dark013angel Said :
dark013angel some flowing improvement could be in order, however a great poem nontheless..good job!
On January 4th 2008 7countrygirl7 Said :
7countrygirl7 Very good! Not even close to being sucky! great work dude!
On January 4th 2008 Transience Said :
Transience I see some areas capable of slight improvement, but this is otherwise a very good work. Better than the majority of shit I've read on this site. Hooray for you!
On January 4th 2008 Daemion Said :
Daemion this is actually GOOD! congrats... alot better than MOST, no question.
On January 4th 2008 FamousOne777 Said :
FamousOne777 Good work, Doesnt suck at all. Well Done bro
On January 4th 2008 hottiesmnth25 Said :
hottiesmnth25 wow fallon this is deep an dark but it does not suck
On January 4th 2008 Bexi93 Said :
Bexi93 wow this poem realy gd how u describe yourself waitng then you jump for the kill. also how you describe the victims death is so intence
On January 4th 2008 TheDragonwitch Said :
TheDragonwitch it doesnt suck but it is mighty dark a bit too dark for me my love. but good none the less
On January 4th 2008 amptone Said :
amptone I will let you know and NO it doesn't suck at all..
On January 4th 2008 mydragonlord Said :
mydragonlord trying something new. please let me know if it suck's wont you?