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Author's Comments
Slowly the light leaves your eyes....Rate this Poem
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27
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Memories |
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24
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Can time heal? |
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24
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Dance in a circle |
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32
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I live in you |
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16
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Our road is long |
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46
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My old Friend of Misery |
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21
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Anger, Pain, Sorrow & Death |
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21
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the words that build |
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13
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Friends of Old |
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46
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Chains to keep me whole |
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17
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Life you gave, yet fear you bred |
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13
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For all who know Motorcycle Riders |
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47
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A Soul so Small |
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19
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To my life |
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59
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Alone from here on in |
My hand in death
Slowly I turn the corner, from my hiding,
You have closed & locked your door,
I smile in anticipation of the coming.
In step behind you, I fall,
Catching your sent on the flowing breeze,
You are just rite, nether short nor tall.
I start to hasten my pace,
You are nearing my special haunt,
So near, my heart begins to race.
I can see your soft, beautiful face,
No one is looking, I grab you and we tumble,
Of your struggle there will be no trace.
My hand covers your mouth, with eyes wide,
“They can not hear you, little lady.”
As you kick and thrash, how I enjoy the ride.
You stop your struggle, as I place my blade against your throat,
Slowly I pull, filling with glee as it create the slit,
“Hush little lady, Soon you will in Hades boat.”
The look of horror that fill your eyes,
Sends waves of delight through my blood,
As life runs from your veins.
Slowly the light leaves your eyes,
Your breathing slows till finally,
You reach your demise.
| On April 27th 2008 spicer420 Said : | |
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you need fuckin jesus |
| On February 26th 2008 mcihellejane Said : | |
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Well, that's a bit creepy! It's unique in that it is in the point of view of the agressor. I really like that you took on that persona-a great write if you ask me!! I think you deserve all the votes that you got on it, I'm not sure what hpriestess is talking 'bout. Poetry is beautiful regardless the topic. Anyhow-two thumbs up!! |
| On January 15th 2008 hpriestess Said : | |
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Quite honestly, I don't understand how you have gotten so many votes on this one. It's a little on the creepy serial killer side. It might be good writing but one should not write such things so out of context. This is something one writes in a horror book, hopefully one of fiction, not in a poem |
| On January 6th 2008 cjaskot Said : | |
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interesting...lol very good tho=] |
| On January 6th 2008 DeathMetalPunk Said : | |
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Totally reminds me of Lord of the Flies. |
| On January 5th 2008 xxxrassidatou1 Said : | |
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love this poem :) |
| On January 5th 2008 DemonzR4eva Said : | |
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i love it... pm 4 anything new |
| On January 5th 2008 101091 Said : | |
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Yet again very good. A little on the morbid side but still fabulous work. |
| On January 5th 2008 kellyjob Said : | |
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Good job! A bit on the scary side but very primal. You did a good job of taping into that animalistic side of humanity. Cause when I read it, the character reminded me of a wolf on the hunt. Very good imagery! |
| On January 5th 2008 ILuvNeoma Said : | |
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Thats really good. ^_^ |
| On January 4th 2008 morbidangel585 Said : | |
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woah i love this one! sure its ones nightmare..but anothers delight..i liked this =] |
| On January 4th 2008 DeathMetalPunk Said : | |
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HECK NO this deosn't suck. Yea Charles Manson or Tim Jones couldn't have done it better. |
| On January 4th 2008 Thugnastay227 Said : | |
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damn man..... how chuck manson of u. lol |
| On January 4th 2008 deshanna13 Said : | |
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doesnt suck its real good how you write it becuz you can just imaging it |
| On January 4th 2008 jjsmomm682006 Said : | |
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great poem, scary abit but great none-the-less. |
| On January 4th 2008 dark013angel Said : | |
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some flowing improvement could be in order, however a great poem nontheless..good job! |
| On January 4th 2008 7countrygirl7 Said : | |
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Very good! Not even close to being sucky! great work dude! |
| On January 4th 2008 Transience Said : | |
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I see some areas capable of slight improvement, but this is otherwise a very good work. Better than the majority of shit I've read on this site. Hooray for you! |
| On January 4th 2008 Daemion Said : | |
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this is actually GOOD! congrats... alot better than MOST, no question. |
| On January 4th 2008 FamousOne777 Said : | |
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Good work, Doesnt suck at all. Well Done bro |
| On January 4th 2008 hottiesmnth25 Said : | |
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wow fallon this is deep an dark but it does not suck |
| On January 4th 2008 Bexi93 Said : | |
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wow this poem realy gd
how u describe yourself waitng then you jump for the kill. also how you describe the victims death is so intence |
| On January 4th 2008 TheDragonwitch Said : | |
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it doesnt suck but it is mighty dark a bit too dark for me my love. but good none the less
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| On January 4th 2008 amptone Said : | |
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I will let you know and NO it doesn't suck at all.. |
| On January 4th 2008 mydragonlord Said : | |
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trying something new. please let me know if it suck's wont you? |


