carpe diem

this is kind of a poem but more of a letter. and i dont know which one can describe my thoughts better. dear me i am writing again... and this time its old, news but promise you will read every page before making a fold? okay well make up your mind, because all these distractions are destroying you. you can't take much more confusion in your dear heart. does he like you? or maybe this lovers true? what the hell should you do? hes a mighty fine young man, his own number one fan. perfect in every way, and knows just what to say... to make you want him. then the other is sweet, and gives your eyes a real treat. they both like you,  and you like them both back. but then theres the other, and maybe theres feelings inside that he lacks... for you. but yours are true and you cant seem to repress them. even sometimes love gets the best of them. dont know all of them too well, but hey you know that sure would be swell. but who do you pursue? what can a broken concience do to you? why are you doing this to yourself? why cant you let yourself be happy for once? well i know why, and its cause of a guy...who broke your heart, now you try for a new start. but you cant forget, and thats why you still fret. you know who you want more but your scared and thats always going to be there. scared of a shattered heart. scared of rejection. scared of picking the one you want and he isnt what you think because you dont know him.. scared that if you wait too long he will forget about you . scared you will pick more than one and end up horribly alone. scared that when he said he wants you he was only lying. scared that you are getting to caught up and forgetting about whats important.... and most important your scared to cease the day because your not sure of what words to say. or not say or what to do or let happen. well look at you now, you're rambling again. untill i write again self  put your problems on the shelf. because you deserve happiness no matter they say about you. and you cant hide your feelings because you know they are true.

note to self : carpe diem is over rated.