Ode To The Man I Sometimes Call Dad

I lie awake at night
And converse with the darkness.
We discuss many things,
The blackness and I.
We had an interesting conversation
The other night.
I have been wondering lately
What it would be like
To be someone other than me.
If I were more like him,
Would you still Hate me?
If I weren't like me,
Would you realize that you produced two?
Could you know that we are equal,
Although not the same?
Could you be that open-minded?
Doubtful.
Is it possible for you to see me
As the man  I've become,
Rather than the boy
You once knew?
I've overcome many obstacles,
Climbed many mountains,
Achieved many dreams;
But still you refuse to respect me.
You tell me that I'm worthless,
That I won't amount to much.
You call me a loser
I Cannot take it any longer!
I will fight back this time.
But am I Strong enough
To fight that which makes me weak?
No.
I will continue to let you belittle me
And treat me like a fool,
Like I am merely a stepping stone
On your path of destruction.
You tell me to respect you
But how can I respect a man
Who doesn't respect himself?
I can't honor and obey you
Like a true DAD should be treated.
Because in these past fifteen years,
You have never been a "Dad" to me.
You are only my guardian, my provider -
Not my Dad.
You've provided me with the basics,
What I need now is for you to help me;
Love, Laugh, be Free,
Live every moment to the Fullest.
Until you can fulfil that need,
I will let the darkness
Heal my wounded soul,
Because you never learned how.