thought bubble

ive fucked up already
my life is so real
my mistakes are all there
but why cant i feel
my blade makes me bleed
thats why the cuts are hidden
according to everyone
cutting is forbidden
if you don't like me cutting
then say something to me
but i have to warn you
ill tell you to leave me be
for some people
cutting is like sex
you don't realize
you've no clue whats next
cutting is pleasure
and pleasure is good
but cutting is also
fucking misunderstood
the adults dont get it
it was done when they were younger
they think its now stupid
but its like feeding your hunger
i hate the feeling that you get
when people stare at you
its like they fucking know
exactly what you do
your parents think your happy
when theres a smile upon your face
but they don't always get
that your always in your dark place
i don't know who i am
never really did
i moved around too much
my real self so fuckin hid
the barrel is in my mouth
why cant i pull the trigger
the gun is so cold
why cant i be bigger
the more people pressure you
the more depressed you get
the more you have the need to cut
and then theres no regret
if you really want to show me
how much you really care
then get off your lazy ass
and tell me to strip my arms bare
i am stronger than you know it
but you have no fucking clue
what it is i am on
or what i really do
im on crystal meth
and don't want to sleep
but you don't notice
you don't dare go that deep
foster care truly killed me
not having a father really sucked
my mom wasn't all there
so i was really fucked
i cant express my feelings
then id get in trouble
i guess i have to live
in my own little thought bubble