smokin tokin chokin... with santa

I WAS SLEEPING PEACEFULLY IN MY QUEEN SIZE BED...
WHEN I SUDDENLY NOTICED A FAT GUY DRESSED ALL IN RED...

HE WAS STANDING IN MY DOORWAY, STARING IN AT ME...

I RUBBED MY PALMS OVER MY EYES, STILL HALF ASLEEP...

ARE YOU A DREAM? I ASKED STILL UNABLE TO SEE...
HE LAUGHED HOLDING HIS FAT BELLY, AND WALKED TOWARDS ME..

I SCOOTED AWAY, NOT SURE OF WHAT TO THINK...
HE SAID "DONT WORRY MELANIE, I DONT STANK"
HE WAS MISSING TWO TEETH, AND HAD WHISKEY ON HIS BREETH...

I THOUGHT, "THIS CANT BE SANTA", AND I WAS SUDDENLY SCARED TOO DEATH!

HE PULLED OUT A SHEET OF PAPER, AND SLOWLY SHOOK HIS HEAD...

"YOU HAVE BEEN A NAUGHTY GIRL THIS YEAR, MELANIE"

I LOOKED TO SEE MY NAME ALL IN RED
OH NO NO NO! YOU HAVE IT ALL WRONG!

"THEN WHATS THIS I SEE?" HE SAID POINTING TO MY BONG.

IT WAS ON MY NIGHTSTAND ALONG WITH A BEER...
"MELANIE, YOUVE BEEN A NAUGHTY GIRL.... DONT LIE TO ME DEAR!"

THEN HE LAUGHED AND TOLD ME ITS OK, THAT HE SMOKES WEED TOO....

HE SMILED AND PULLED OUT A BAGGIE, AND SOME ROLLING PAPERS TOO...

WE SMOKED A BIG HOOTER AND GOT HIGH AS HELL...
WE LAUGHED FOR HOURS, UNTILL IT WAS TIME FOR HIM TO BAIL....

I DIDNT WANT TO SEE HIM GO, THAT COLD CHRISTMAS NIGHT...

I WATCHED HIM FLY AWAY ON HIS SLEIGH, UNTILL HE WAS OUT OF SIGHT....

I AWOKE THE NEXT MORNING, CONFUSED ABOUT THE NIGHT BEFORE..

WAS IT ALL A DREAM? I ASKED WALKING OUT OF MY BEDROOM DOOR...

I WENT DOWNSTAIRS, AND SAW NO PRESENTS UNDER MY TREE..

WHICH MADE COMPLETE SENCE, CAUSE HE SAID I WAS NAUGHTY...

I LOOKED OVER AT THE MANTEL, AND SAW A STOCKING WITH A BULGE.....

I SAID TO MYSELF DAMN! HE SHOWED ME SOME LOVE!!!

I SLOWLY OPENED MY STOCKING.... LOOKED IN IT AND SEEN....

SANTA LEFT ME SOME CANDY CANE FLAVORED PAPERS, AND A FAT SACK OF MAGIC WEED...

IT WAS MAGICAL, CAUSE IT WOULD SUDDENLY FILL BACK UP IF I SMOKE IT DOWN TO THE SEEDS...
SANTA HAD CAME BACK EVERY YEAR, ON CHRISTMAS EVE....

BUT, ON MY TWENTY FIRST YEAR, I WAS SAD TO SEE THAT HE DIDNT SHOW....

THAT NEXT MORNING, I SAW THAT A CRAZY FAT MAN WAS ARRESTED PASSED OUT IN THE SNOW...
HE HAD A OUND OF WEED ON HIM AND IT WAS IN FRONT OF HOME DEPOT....

"THATS DEFINATELY SANTA!" I YELLED WITH A LAUGH
IM EXCITED TODAY, CAUSE HE JUST GOT OUT OF REHAB.....

ITS CHRISTMAS EVE NOW, AND IM GETTING READY TO SEE MY JOLLY FAT MAN IN RED...

ILL HAVE MY BONG ALL READY TO FILL, RIGHT NEXT TO MY BED...

I NEVER SAW HIM AGAIN.... BUT I KNEW HE COULD STILL SEE ME...

LIKE THE SONG SAYS.... HE SEES YOU WHEN YOUR SLEEPING, AND KNOWS IF YOUR AWAKE....

BUT, SANTA SEES ME EVERY MORNING, WHEN I WAKE AND BAKE....

NOW IM AN OLD LADY, IM GETTING LATE IN MY YEARS....
I PASSED THE POT DOWN TO MY SON, TO SPREAD OUR TRADITION OF CHRISTMAS CHEER....