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my jealous rage

Views (18) Anger Created on 12-4-07 Flag
Rage

Anger, piercing my soul
Coursing through my body like a broken dam

Jealousy raging inside me
Women calling, messages sent
It's all too much for me

He's all I have
But even then I have to share him

I hate that I love him
I hate that he is so wonderful
I hate the myspace whores

why is it that my feelings aren't justified
tell me of another bitch who will let there man call other women
TELL ME

Sadness
It clears out all else

Disapointment
the world seems so dim
so lonely

Feelings I can no longer deny
brought on by a mixture of alcohol and self loathing
I hate my feelings more than I hate myself

Frustration
at my suppressed emotions
building up inside, willing myself to explode

Hatred for the man that controls my every thought
Hatred for the women who just can't let us be
Hatred for the world that I must live in
Hatred for myself

Fuck this
Fuck the world
Fuck society for telling me to close my mouth
Fuck my family for counting on me
Fuck my friends for believing in me
Fuck matt for loving me
Fuck you for reading this

I hate myself so I slash out at others
I can't stand the image I see in the mirror so I distrust him
I am filled with my fathers rage
And I hate that I am like him

I love him,
But I can't deal with his need to talk to other women

I love him
But I hate them

so I cry
Nothing else to do

I cut
I scream
I rant and rave

But he will not change for me.

what does that say about his love?
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