My Normal Now-Brother

My normal now is waking up with pain in my chest, a dull ache throbbing just below the breast.

My normal now is missing a brother who didn't deserve to die a tragic death.

My normal now is wonder when I'm ever going to stop hurting.

My normal now is not being able to look at pictures without seeing him the way he died.

My normal now is trying to get through a day without breaking down, trying to be happy when inside I'm still so sad.

My normal now is screaming in my soul wanting my brother back, yet knowing in my head and heart that he's in a better place.

My normal now is something I wish it never was.

My normal now is trying to make him proud, but knowing at times I'm bound to fail.

My normal now is two years I haven't been able to feel his arms wrap around me in a hug, hear his voice, his laugh, or even hear him cry.

My normal now is stinging tears behind every smile.

My normal now...well, its a life without a present, in the flesh, brother.

My normal now is missing an Angel who walked on Earth.