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When I Die |
Mists Of Pain
Views (103)
Created on 4-20-08
My breath dissolved by the mists of this pain
As this lonely dread penitrates my body
Crying as I sit by this blood red fire
Asking why my life was shot down so angrily
Cringing as my body lay curled and broken
Feeling like I am in this battle alone
Despair and torture overcome my empty mind
Crumbling body
Breaking soul
Destroyed heart
Deprived of my feelings as my endurance slowly drains
Crucified by the way my life is changing
As friends become users every day
Elements of the earth rise inside me while i feel the pain
Sitting in this cold pale black chair
Just reminds me of how it used be
How has my life taken this turn for this critical worse
Have I really become this cruel and lonely me
Please Login to post comments| On May 5th 2008 mydragonlord Said : | |
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this was really good! loved the way you described the way the world and friends take there tole on a person! well written! no really well written!! |
| On May 2nd 2008 KaosQueen Said : | |
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oohhh, this is really awesome (: i love it! |
| On April 24th 2008 poeticspud Said : | |
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everything everyone else said and then some, you write with strong emotion... bet it doesnt rlly take a whole lotta effort when ur writing, great poets never have to think too hard when they can feel.... |
| On April 23rd 2008 xmradio2007 Said : | |
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deep and so seems like there was so much effort put in it I guess what I am trying to say is that it is really good =]] |
| On April 22nd 2008 darkemokid1415 Said : | |
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I love it. It was very deep, awsome job |
| On April 21st 2008 kjoy428 Said : | |
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i really like this..its sooo deep! but yet so clear. i love it! i've been there before, probably in a different way that what u were when you wrote this, but i can still relate to it. which makes me like it even more. |
| On April 21st 2008 MeVelvetRose17 Said : | |
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i really like this one especially now that i read it to myself i imagine your voice reading it to me. i can still hear the pain in your voice and it relfects the message in the poem. I'm so jelous fo you...you're really good. i got competition! i love it though...a lot! |
| On April 21st 2008 dark013angel Said : | |
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I love this..Love the message.the word choice. And the style..However..it is a bit choppy. Though..it kinda works with the emotion of the piece...I'm not sure if you meant it to be choppy or not. But either way..I'm all about the emotions of the piece I'm reading. And this is packed with quite a few...Very good. Kudos my friend. |
| On April 21st 2008 morbidangel585 Said : | |
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i really like how you described kinda where you were in the beginning, i was just out sitting by a blood red fire myself thinking.. but loved this..awesome but sad in a way |
