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Views (143) Anger Created on 12-4-07 Flag

if someone was to touch my skin

they tell you that its cold

if someone was to see my heart

they'll say its green with mould

 

if someone was to kiss my lips

they'll feel as hard as stone

if someone was to hold my hand

it'll feel as dry as bone

 

if someone was to do my hair

it'll fall out in the comb

if someone was to take me out

i'll crumble in my dome

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On March 8th 2008 LBbaby2010 Said :
LBbaby2010 i really ike this poem,it's VERY good.
On January 22nd 2008 Alexithymia90 Said :
Alexithymia90 it seemed a bit simplistic to me. perhaps you could use for imagery? but it was good. I enjoyed it
On December 30th 2007 AlexINTJ Said :
AlexINTJ Interesting. Your poetry is quite unique.
On December 7th 2007 Laralei Said :
Laralei The last line feels like forced rhyme, but other than that it's really good. I like the way it was put together, and the repetition is not annoying like you find with a lot of poems that use that technique. Good job.
On December 4th 2007 SheilaAsakura Said :
SheilaAsakura Nice job on that one. It's really good. :)
On December 4th 2007 PunkRockNerdxX Said :
PunkRockNerdxX That was really good. All of your poems are good.
On December 4th 2007 morbidangel585 Said :
morbidangel585 i like how u put it together
On December 4th 2007 Thugnastay227 Said :
Thugnastay227 intriguing..... suppressed emotions can have this effect.