Taking Control of Me

Help me, please,

I’m begging you to end this,

I can’t control myself any longer,

My body is not my own,

I’m sick of this,

Please, just put me out of my misery,

The beast has taken over,

Driven every sane thought from my mind,

I can’t help it,

When I see them lying there,

Torn and bloody,

The beast in me takes over,

And I have to finish the job,

It must feel the power of their pain,

It needs the power to control me,

It claws for escape,

Forces me to hurt them,

He’s made me into what some would call a “murderess”,

He’s taught me to find other’s weaknesses,

Then tear at them,

Just to watch them bleed,

Just to see them crumble before,

Like I have done so many times in the past,

I hurt the people I love,

And I hate that I do….

Yet I don’t hate it at all,

I thrive on other’s grief,

The deeper and more painful it is the better,

What is wrong with me?

Why am I like this?

I fight the beast within me,

But I lose every time,

And I know I will never win,

Someday soon it will consume me entirely,

And there will be only a memory of the way I was,

When that day comes…

God, save us all