how i really feel

tick, tock the clock keeps ticking, as i slowly decay inside.....i cut open the wounds again, to relieve the pain, i simply fake a smile, and continue on, deep inside i cry, and nobody knows it but me!!!!!!! I pour salt into the opened woundz, grit my teeth and shatter my mind, sweat beads from my head, nobody is listening once again, i feel the numbness, and scream to the top of my lungz, god take me far from here, why stay sober, nothing takes me from the pain i feel so deeply, all i can do is curl up in a ball like a baby in a womb, and sob, and still my body aches...i want to die, just take me now PLEASE GOD, take me now, i feel nothing but everything at the same time, ive lost control, no thought, im broken, and lying helplessly on the floor!!!!!! _wickedkizziz aka nikki 10-23-07