Ventilation

Outside im smiling,

Happy for you.

Inside, im crying, slowly dying.

Yearning for your embrace,

Wishing for your voice.

Good luck, I say

While giving a grand smile.

This is my best act yet.

I am truly proud,

Of how easily you were fooled.

I am quite the little actress, you see.

My heart is shredding,

Falling to the ground,

Desprately reaching for help.

I am ignoring its shrill cries,

Muffling it with all of my strengh,

Is it working?

I am melting,

All hope has left my body.

I realize,

That i must spend the rest of my days this way,

Knowing you prefer her,

You think only of her,

You desire her, like,

I desire you.

Every word,

Every emotion,

Has been an illusion.

So here I am,

Finally spilling my heart to you,

Letting you know,

That I truly do love you.

I’ve always loved you.

Only you.

I know my actions have said differently,

But please understand,

Im trying to be open,

Im trying to be vulnerable,

Im trying so very hard.

I fear, that this will not reach you,

That you will never know,

Since i will never tell you,

Except for now.

When I said I’d gladly marry you,

I meant it.

I wasn’t saying it for the moment,

Or just to say it,

I said it because its true.

I know ive no experience of the world,

That I know not love as i should when making that statement,

But, if i had to choose now,

You’d be my first pick.

Even if you’d break my heart,

By choosing her.

Until I die,

I spill my heart to you.

Even though you aren’t,

And will never,

Be listening.