My Apologies

The bubbles form a memory
Escaping the back of my mind
Bringing me to the day I saw your face
The last time, with tears staining your cheeks
As I was forced to speak horrible truths
Spilling to strangers everyday fears of children.
I was only thirteen, not yet a woman
Yet mature enough to speak these words
Words that killed what we could've had
That ended this relationship.
They said 'not guilty', relief escaping my breath
Yet now they see me as a phony.
You still had to leave me
Leave me thinking I was cruel and deceitful
And I'd miss you
Oh boy, Daddy, do I miss you.

It's been three long years
And that crying child is learning to grow
So much has changed
I no longer live with mommy, so that now I can live
But I feel alone and I look for escape
They told me you tried ending your future
And I'm glad y ou're still here
Even if you're over there.
I wish I could see you
I need to laugh again, to have someone to hold
Maybe I wouldn't sit here holding this gun
To the temple that holds my past and future
Fully loaded, waiting to get a head start
At seeing you again without tears on your face
I want to tell you I'm sorry

But maybe I need to let go
Let go of the horrors that day had caused
I need to let go of you
But I want to see you in heaven
If we make it to heaven
And looking into this barrel
I hope to meet you in heaven
Because I miss you
Oh boy, Daddy, do I miss you