I Give Up

I open up.
I just let it out.
It crosses my skin.
I have a doubt.

I knew that it would hurt.
But i didn’’t know why.
It’’s to late to care.
It’’s to late to try.

I never mattered.
And i always cried.
But what was the point.
If i never tried?

But when i grab a razor.
And i take it across my skin.
I see the blood fall to the floor.
This is my new found sin.

I hear a piercing scream.
I see you standing there.
You kneel down beside me.
Then you move my hair.

As i start to fall asleep.
And see everything fade away.
I hear your voice, it sounds so sweet.
Your asking me to stay.

I whisper something that you can’’t hear.
""Everything is blurry.""
I say it’’s gonna be ok.
I tell you not to worry.

I wake up during the day.
And I’’m lying in a bed.I hear the birds faint singing.
There is a pounding in my head.

I look around.
And at my wrist.
I see you standing in room.
You look like you are pissed.

You say that you are happy.
Because i am awake.
But also you are pissed.
Because all you did for me was fake.

You look down at the floor.
And i ask you why you care.
You say you always loved me.
And you hurt me on a dare.

You ask me that one question.
The question that i fear.
You ask me why i did it.
When i knew that you were there.

My mind goes blank.
I can't even speak.
You look at me disappointed.
I simply state I feel so weak.

Confusion spreads across your face.
It's obvious to me.
I hurt you in so many ways.
This pain won't let me be.

I tried my best.
I failed to say the least.
Everything hurts so much.
But my tears have finally ceased.

The words you said engraved in my mind.
The tone you used so crude.
I'm sorry I couldn't be enough for you.
I'm sorry to seem rude.
 

I attempted to love you.
I attempted to care.
I'm sorry that I abandoned you.
And I'm sorry that I wasn't there.

I give up hope