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Goodnight...

Views (344) Pain Created on 10-19-07 Flag

Last breath sighs out

Give way to the doubt

White flag in the air

Culminates my despair

I burn out, I tire

Slowly drown in the mire

Ashes replace flame

At my door I lay blame

Gut wrenches with sorrow

Tears quickly follow

Come to the end of my fight

Close my eyes, say goodnight

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On November 13th 2007 Thugnastay227 Said :
Thugnastay227 wow. great work as well.....you have a gift for story telling. love it.
On October 30th 2007 mydragonlord Said :
mydragonlord ah this is more like my stuff i like i like, yes i definatly like. the departing of a soul is such sweet sorrw.
On October 28th 2007 thatbluewoman Said :
thatbluewoman short, but i can imagine a soul drifting reluctantly out of the body...
On October 23rd 2007 dureall Said :
dureall Gets my vote.
On October 20th 2007 Sandwich91 Said :
Sandwich91 This is pretty good, short and sad ^^
On October 20th 2007 Tiffiscool16 Said :
Tiffiscool16 Short, but well written and easy to relate to.
On October 20th 2007 missykitty1 Said :
missykitty1 GREAT POEM! YOU DID AWESOME! NOW RETURN THE FAVOR WILL YA?!!?
On October 19th 2007 joabizz Said :
joabizz I always say, if you have a bad day??? go to sleep.. tomorrow is waiting... great poem,, short and to the point.. :)
On October 19th 2007 angelface6933 Said :
angelface6933 Very deep in few words. I like it, it's as if someone were taking thier last breaths and they can only get so much out. A few words that say so much more.
On October 19th 2007 transgenic Said :
transgenic This is so beautiful!
On October 19th 2007 Wyldemiller Said :
Wyldemiller Goodnight... what pleasant words to say as you hold someone close in your arms as you drift into the next world... very lovely Jo :)
On October 19th 2007 Vestque Said :
Vestque I love it! Great Job ^_^
On October 19th 2007 Pikkakard Said :
Pikkakard I wish I could write like this. Great flow.
On October 19th 2007 Jeremy062902 Said :
Jeremy062902 I loved the flow to this sad one Jo. =(
On October 19th 2007 countryfreak13 Said :
countryfreak13 WoW!! I really like this!! It reminds my of the movie "Patriot". I have no idea if anyone has saw it but it based on the the war, with the U.S and the British. So, I can really relate to this!! I love this!! :O