Always You Beside Me

nothings okay, this isn't right

i stand here on my own tonight

i know i shouldn't do it

it shouldn't end like this

it really isn't sane

to run a razor up my wrist

a swill of my drink

a cut with the blade

the biggest mistake i've ever made

a twinge of guilt

the cut pure pleasure

then theres this felling

pain beyond measure

i'm dying in the shadows

were no one else can see

the world will be better off

without someone like me

i didn't really want to do it

i won't let it end like this

it wasn't really MY choice

to run the razor up my wrist

i gather up my strength

and pull myself to my feet

it's like i'm carrying a heavy weight

i can almost taste defeat

my heart is pounding

so is my head

i feel the pit of my stomach

sinking with dread

i fear i might not make it

is it to late to save myself?

then i think of your picture

alone on  my shelf

just thinking of you

gives me strength

provisionsry power

to walk the nessacery length

i nearly killed myself

just to be with you

but then i realized that's the last thing

you'd ever want me to do

it was hard for me to see

as i was blinded by my tears

remembering you beside me

all throughout the years

it was always you beside me

when i was wracked by tears

always you holding my hand

when it was time to face my fears

your voice held a power

wisdom beyond your years

i can't even remember all the times

your words soothed my tears

you standing beside me

always kept me strong

it helped me to do the right thing

when tempted by the wrong

it's hard for me to think

that your really gone

i thought that you weren't with me

but you've been here all along

looking back on that day

i'm saddened by my state

i wish i could erase it

and start with a clean slate

the past is always with me

although it's in disguise

most people know

there's some truth behind my lies

your the reason

for the hurt behind my eyes

but now i also see your death

was a blessing in disguise

your gone but your still with me

and now i know myself

and so your pisture still stands

in honor on my shelf

so thanks, shawn

you helped me mature

i can only hope somday

i'll be half the person you were.