Created By
Author's Comments
a to z and back aRate this Poem
Info
Created:
11/05 2007
Views:
62
Category:
Other
My Poems
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12
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Purple Lust |
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8
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Impossible Oblivion |
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5
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Object Affection |
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7
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Death In Solitude |
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6
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ALL |
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6
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Dwell the Color of the Rose |
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5
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Up and Down |
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10
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Explain the Rush |
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0
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Weak |
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1
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Mare (obsolete) |
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0
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Tell Me Something New |
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2
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Late Summer Nights |
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1
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Exasperation of our Essence |
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0
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Trapped |
Up and Down
Ting Tong
Ting Tong
Heart Beat
Tear Drop
U make me feel like crushing
stepping, scrinching,
STOP it
I get big
I get small
Why must u do
What i want
not to
How can i
be strong
when u make
me feel (weak)
How can i feel
vulnerable
when i am THERE
You confuse,
turn me upside down,
Make me ecstasy
And back down again
Strong, weak,
Happy, SAD,
You make me feel so bad
The way I'm not
aLL for nothing
unaware
of what u make to me
and i
must be
Happy, strong
only get home and be
Sad and wrong
Please Login to post comments| On February 4th 2008 jennaferz Said: |
| its fairly good. i do agree with the two below me, but i think that you have a lot of potential and i like the idea of your poem. another thing i have to say is that in your writing you should refrain from using typing/texting shorcuts such as "u". this is okay for other things {{yeah i do it myself =]}} but in writing you should go for the more professional look. overall it's good though. =] |
| On February 3rd 2008 individulsong Said: |
| This was good, but I have to agree with nickjonson. Parts of it were unclear, but all in all I understood the emotion you were tyring to get across. You have a really strong writer's voice. Keep up the good work. |
| On February 3rd 2008 nickjonson Said: |
| well, it looks like you're still trying to grasp the concept of poetry. It was decent, but I thought the meaning was a little unclear. Good start, tho |
