I'll Lay My Troubles Down.

In the mirror I want to see a beautiful girl staring back at me.

But my vision is foggy and all I know is that the reflection is not what I want.

I want to see a beautiful smile, maybe even..

No, I can't see her, the girl I used to be.

I can't knowing I can't keep it down.

You said you'd be there, where are you now?

I souldn't stand still for long, but now I can barely stand on my own.

My heart races if I walk to fast, and everyone is looking at me differently, I'm alone.

You can tell somethings wrong, and I can't get it through my head.

You show me pictures of models and how they look, frail little creatures, and if I'm not careful, I'll be dead.

My stomache hurts the worst, going straight to my heart.

It burns so damn bad for relief in my part.

I want to go to sleep, a different kind of sleep.

A forever bliss without a care, but I'm to scared. I'm not that deep.

My cuts mean nothing anymore, just broken and old sores.

Compared to anything now, I am anything than the girl in the mirror.

My friends can see my ribcage, my thigh bones, and my hipbones sticking out so far it makes them sick.

I show the pain like it's a first prize trophy.

I'm shaky, and my clothes are getting to baggy.

This is a long poem, but what else can I do.

My heart can't take this, how can I laugh at almost dieing.

I'm sorry I just can't end in a happy way, nothing left to say but it gets so bad, my body feels like it's blazing.

I am currently anorexic/bulimic/biplolar. This poem was the hardest not knowing what I'm going to do in the future. It is indeed scary, and one day I hope to be over all of this and stop the crying. Please don't say anything bad, unless it'll knock some common sence into me.