Confused

I don't know what to think anymore,

I thought I loved someone and then I didn't.

I thought someone was special,

but then I had second thoughts.

I don't know what to think,

how to act or what to expect anymore.

I only want to be happy,

but I find that people want to hurt me.

I don't believe it when people say I love you.

I can't say I love you,

for fear that I'll get hurt once again.

Someone has fallen in love with me but

I don't want to love him.

He lives so far away and I don't want to hurt him or me.

I want him to be happy but

I want to be happy.

I'm scared that he might not be true

when he says that he loves me with all his heart.

I only have trouble thinking that because

so many other people have lied.

The pain, to sadness is all back,

the confusion, and worries have come back.

I don't know what to think anymore,

but I just want to cry.

Maybe even die one day.