im not perfect

I lie awake and think of my life 
Why is it in such a mess, is it my fault? 
I thought you would understand me but you proved me wrong 
While reaching out for my pen knife, my mind has gone blank... 
I just can't understand a thing...I am just not perfect... 
Every time I think everything is going to be alright...something bad happens... 
I just want a perfect family...why is it so hard for you to understand... 
I have lost in love once again...cried so much that I just can't stop myself... 
I am not a perfect person..sorry....