Scars

When I look at you, I do not see love
I see a man who made a life built on lies and broken trust
You come around when you need a shoulder to cry on
The pressure to mend your wounds is more than I can bare
I want so much to be what you want me to be
I want so much to be perfect in your eyes
Why do I aspire to be something that you yourself refuse to recognize
Truth, honesty, courage, commitment
You spoke these words
You never lived those words
How did it feel the first time you turned your back on us
How did it feel the second time you lied to our faces
How did it feel the third time you fell short of your promises
How did it feel all the times you hurt us
Your screams still haunt me
Your fists still break my sleep
Your words still refuse to let me be
There is no where safe for me to go now
There is no one I can trust
You have taken far more than you have given
Why was it so hard for you just to love us
I was just a little girl full of hope and promise
You made me believe that I was worthless
Now I am a woman, strangled and stunted from your mistakes
You say you did your best as a father, but in my eyes you are just a snake
I wish I could love you
I wish it did not hurt to think of you
I wish you could undo what you have done
I wish you peace
You are my father
But to you I am no one