Sorry

I'm sorry I left you,

I'm sorry I screwed up my life.

I loved you,

I really did,

And I still do.

But how can I ask for forgiveness,

When even I know I don't deserve it.

I still love you,

And I still care.

But I won't do what I should.

I won't admit I'm wrong.

Even though my heart is killing me.

I suppose we could have been forever.

I guess that scared me.

It scared the hell out of me that I was leaving here.

That I might do something stupid while I was gone.

I know it sounds stupid,

But it scared me that people expected us to be forever.

I just wasn't ready.

Anyway. 

I'm sorry I hurt you,

I'm sorry you cried.

Please don't accept my apology.

Don't forgive me.

I don't deserve that.

Just know I'm sorry.