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Created: 08/11 2007
Views: 129
Category: Other

My Poems

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Pain
+ 6
*Change*
+ 2
Slowest Form Of Suicide

Pain

I know i ask a lot
i know i say to much
I know i hurt you bad
I know my words don't mean much
I know i don't mean to be sad
I never meant to make you cry
I never want to see you eyes sad
i know i look dumb and feel like a bitch
i guess i should cause ..no girl
should do this shit
I know it is not right
I feel like i just have no sight
My eyes are closed to all
You most of all
I feel my world falling apart
As well along with my heart
It only beats for one
I know you don't think i care
Like your words don't mean air
But to honest i love you more then you know
My heart you have stole
I never want to say good bye
I never want to leave the gaze of your eyes
I know i don't mean a thing to you
I know you don't understand
I know you don't hear my calls or cries
Just like you cant see the pain in my eyes
You wonder just who i speak of
This answer is simple you see
I am the one you never seem to see
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On August 22nd 2007 alexia66 Said: 
alexia66 nice poem, crying or not you put urself into this, good work here
On August 12th 2007 LovewitJohnny Said: 
LovewitJohnny ok thanks i understand..lol i wrote this crying so that may be why it is so messed up..anyway l8er
On August 11th 2007 LilithDragon Said: 
LilithDragon Ok, i like being a critic.. because it helps people get better. First, it's good. You have creativity and Emotion. To make this poem and future poems better I would do one of two things: One- be weary of repitition unless you are doing it to prove a point. At first you seem to be using 'i know' to do so. In the end you stop using that intro phrase and end up using it randomly, don't- it's distracting. Either omit it or find a better term. Two- either rhyme or don't. If you want a mixture make sure you have a structure to do so. Otherwise it is distracting. Don't get discouraged, like i said you have talent.