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My Poems
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18
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Listen |
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23
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A Beautiful Day |
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9
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In The End |
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6
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A Cry for Help |
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Days go by and I wonder, how much longer do I have to wait til I have you in my arms again. Day in and out, fighting my feelings back. I feel like theres nothing left
Im pleasing you and trying to please him, but why wont you understand. We are so far apart and the only thing I want is us back. We did it once, we can do it again, I guess only time will tell, how long you will wait or how long before you bail
Trying to explain to you what I feel for him, why dont you get it. Im old enough to make my own decisions. Letting go is hard to do but when love is all you have its pretty well decided and thats all i can give you
Times are hard and I need to talk, but what are you holding me back from... this is all just way too tough. Why are you scared to hear how I really feel?
Im not leaving you or taking off for good, im just trying to live my life and that needs to be understood. Just hear me now loud and clear I am your daughter and I love him
Please Login to post comments| On September 15th 2008 lyrikaldisastr Said: |
| if u left out the last verse...this could be viewed 2 ways 1)about ur parents not fully embracing ur relationship..which sucks..and even though they think they're doing whats right for u if they dont hit u up the right way it can actually do more harm than good...or 2)about ur mom dating guys and ur thoughts and feelings towards that..but cuz of the last section itd be kinda stupid to choose ur mom's bf over her..so it confirms it was the first one...thats how i interpreted it...i dunno if thats what u meant...but as far as the poem goes...u can like feel the writer's emotions like being torn like he/she(i know its a she but im trying to be like third person)doesn't know what to do because of the situation but if they have to they will choose..but they don't want it to come down to that.and because u can feel it...hopefully thats what u meant if not i need to reread this...and if thats the case too no offense..i think this is good...anytime u can make the reader feel what u r feeling its always a good piece of work...so props on that...*time for complaints:-p*...even tho its something that has to come natural...u got a lot of skillz and ur really good at expressing things...if possible u should post more...cuz itd be a shame to let it go to waste..."theres millions of ppl everyday that go hungry....u should feed them(witcha quality work;))" id really like to see more from u..but this is good |
| On July 17th 2008 MZdaBoSs Said: |
| This Has Alot Of Emotion and A Really Good Theme. Keep it Up. =] |
| On June 21st 2008 justjetjustis Said: |
| (: got anymore peoms ? |
| On June 13th 2008 Lookin4TruLuv Said: |
| I love the idea of this one. No matter how old a person is, their parents always have some degree of influence in the decisions made about mates. I like that you captured the scene of being torn between the two, but maybe focus a little more on the emotional turmoil? The scene is set, but don't forget That fluid emotion is the secret potion. Haha! |
| On March 26th 2008 Jermie6363 Said: |
| love it kmp on more like this one |
| On February 29th 2008 Tiffiscool16 Said: |
| I feel your emotion through this poem and that in itself is good, but you lose what is said when you forget to elaborate or describe something. IN my opinion this would flow better if instead of listing these things you emotionally wrote as if you were causually talking to both the guy you love and your father. Explain what actions and thoughts are going through our mind as you write this. But in the general sense I like what is written and to keep writing to express your feelings. |
| On February 28th 2008 gonzo4201 Said: |
| it has potential, maybe needs to be cleaned up a bit, reformatted, but I can feel the emotion in this one |
