Inside
Views (71)
Created on 3-12-08
I fell into the darkness within
settled on shores of nevermore
my eyes wonder the skys of eternal grey
reaching into the sand to cut myself on the remains
digging for pieces of what might have been
looking into the water i see reflection
something familiar but lost long ago
something left dieing with hopes and dreams
drifting off in the waters I see her at times
she dances on crystalline waters of forever
i cannot reach her on my desolate shore
yet i see her
and i forget
Please Login to post comments| On April 19th 2008 october1015 Said : | |
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I'm not saying it's not good, because it is... but you need to work on the grammar. All words are spelled correctly, but the capitalization sucks. It would've made the poem have a a little more impact. Also, I'd like to see punctuation marks. As in periods, commas, blah blah. That also would've given the poem some more impact. Good job, but next time, please include what I told you. |
| On April 16th 2008 jetkills Said : | |
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amazing so sweet ^^ |
| On March 19th 2008 lovelylite Said : | |
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WOW.. me love it... that so sweet. Hey next time worn me aboutwhat kind of pem so i can have time to get a tissue...lol..well i loved it your really good at this. |
| On March 18th 2008 Snooky9e Said : | |
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omg...i luvz it...so passionate...very beautiful... |
| On March 17th 2008 NeuroticErin Said : | |
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Oh wow, very meaningful. I love it. |
| On March 17th 2008 Vestque Said : | |
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Niiice, I like this ^_^ |
| On March 17th 2008 amptone Said : | |
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A man of many talents! |
| On March 16th 2008 redstreek Said : | |
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Yes, wow. Brought tears to my eyes. Such sorrow and pain. It's a shame for any of us to have to feel that in our lifetimes. |
| On March 15th 2008 KellzerBellzer Said : | |
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...wow... this is beautifully written. it almost made me cry |
