Created By
Author's Comments
Ugh...Rate this Poem
My Poems
+42
|
+
28
|
Feels Like I'm Counting. |
|
+
38
|
Perfect. |
|
+
20
|
Care. |
|
+
17
|
What Happened To Her... |
|
+
22
|
Cute |
|
+
30
|
Missed Memories |
|
+
15
|
The Pathway |
|
+
42
|
Our Ending.. |
|
+
37
|
So Sick So Sorry |
|
+
18
|
My Everything |
|
+
43
|
What Ended Us. |
|
+
33
|
The Belt. |
|
+
40
|
Backstabber [For Demise] |
|
+
104
|
'Perfect' Girls. |
|
+
48
|
Testriffic. |
What Ended Us.
You stood me up for a date with your life,
You didn't choose me over a deathly knife,
The knife that would hurt you - in turn hurt me,
Without you I died - emotionally.
The periodic turning, your table of emotion,
Confused me at first but left me a notion,
A notion of which gave me much grief,
A notion of which, I wish I'd relieved,
I thought it would end, our relationship,
I wanted to know, what will make it tip,
These days I now know, what ended us,
It was that we, had a lack of trust.
You didn't choose me over a deathly knife,
The knife that would hurt you - in turn hurt me,
Without you I died - emotionally.
The periodic turning, your table of emotion,
Confused me at first but left me a notion,
A notion of which gave me much grief,
A notion of which, I wish I'd relieved,
I thought it would end, our relationship,
I wanted to know, what will make it tip,
These days I now know, what ended us,
It was that we, had a lack of trust.
| On August 5th 2007 MeishkaMooshka Said : | |
|
|
It was excellent, despite it being sad (which hinders me from complimenting it excessively). |
| On July 10th 2007 Nekkochan2010 Said : | |
|
|
that brought tears to my eys...it's beautiful. |
| On July 10th 2007 jesusfreak808 Said : | |
|
|
Awsome poem |
| On July 10th 2007 poet77 Said : | |
|
|
the rhymes worked very well for me. please cfheck out my poems as well |
| On July 10th 2007 kimmaigirlai Said : | |
|
|
i love it. congrats on having yesterday's favorite poem!! |
| On July 9th 2007 pinkchickemma Said : | |
|
|
great poem =]
|
| On July 9th 2007 Savedbyalamb Said : | |
|
|
Wow... |
| On July 9th 2007 Byrnesrebel Said : | |
|
|
that was an awesome peom. :] |
| On July 9th 2007 cjaskot Said : | |
|
|
the last part is a little...blah. but i love the rest!! its great! i love the first two lines! |
| On July 9th 2007 mcihellejane Said : | |
|
|
This one flows very well and I love the way you tell a story with it |
| On July 9th 2007 Slimsg Said : | |
|
|
very well done! |
| On July 8th 2007 tinkerbell918 Said : | |
|
|
ur an awesome writer ♥ it |
| On July 8th 2007 mariahlee Said : | |
|
|
your an amazing writer.
i know, NO guys that could EVER write like this.
your original.
truely,
amazing |
| On July 8th 2007 Tigga16 Said : | |
|
|
This is the bestest poem you've wrote yet. I love it! ^_^ |
| On July 8th 2007 fallenxxseeker Said : | |
|
|
really sad..good tho...i wish i could write from the heart like that...when i get emotionally involved in my work my writing sux |
| On July 8th 2007 jarnotti Said : | |
|
|
i love this good job keep it up |
| On July 8th 2007 101091 Said : | |
|
|
Wow. I really like it, and I love the way it flows. It's sad but you are really talented with allowing the reader to feel the emotion through it. Great job. |
| On July 8th 2007 chickenbroth Said : | |
|
|
nice flow, very beautiful! |
| On July 8th 2007 Javellef Said : | |
|
|
Very good! I like how you describe the emotional death. Also I like the flow of your words. |
| On July 8th 2007 Burnterror Said : | |
|
|
Great flow, Good use of linking words. |
| On July 8th 2007 California1516 Said : | |
|
|
wow..i like it! hmm..one thing u could maybe possibly improve on is making it flow better...it seems a little..hmmm...i dont know how to describe it..lol..i think the last line stands out to me the most..idk why..prolly cuz i can relate to it :) if u keep writing you'll only get even better..i know thats blah advice cuz u prolly already know that..lol :) |
| On July 8th 2007 mazblondie Said : | |
|
|
love the use of words, really liked the image it conjured in my mind,thanks for letting me read your work,let me no any more!!thanks |
| On July 8th 2007 SoftballLvr213 Said : | |
|
|
ttly awesome. full of emotion. your good with words. very good. |
| On July 8th 2007 Xpoetxgurlx Said : | |
|
|
this is very sad....but really good.
i love it! u really r talented about writing things u feel |
| On July 8th 2007 lilbuns777 Said : | |
|
|
damn. very very very awsome. |


