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Ugh...

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What Ended Us.
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Testriffic.

What Ended Us.

Views (825) Pain Created on 7-8-07 Flag
You stood me up for a date with your life,
You didn't choose me over a deathly knife,
The knife that would hurt you - in turn hurt me,
Without you I died - emotionally.
The periodic turning, your table of emotion,
Confused me at first but left me a notion,
A notion of which gave me much grief,
A notion of which, I wish I'd relieved,
I thought it would end, our relationship,
I wanted to know, what will make it tip,
These days I now know, what ended us,
It was that we, had a lack of trust.
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On August 5th 2007 MeishkaMooshka Said :
MeishkaMooshka It was excellent, despite it being sad (which hinders me from complimenting it excessively).
On July 10th 2007 Nekkochan2010 Said :
Nekkochan2010 that brought tears to my eys...it's beautiful.
On July 10th 2007 jesusfreak808 Said :
jesusfreak808 Awsome poem
On July 10th 2007 poet77 Said :
poet77 the rhymes worked very well for me. please cfheck out my poems as well
On July 10th 2007 kimmaigirlai Said :
kimmaigirlai i love it. congrats on having yesterday's favorite poem!!
On July 9th 2007 pinkchickemma Said :
pinkchickemma great poem =]
On July 9th 2007 Savedbyalamb Said :
Savedbyalamb Wow...
On July 9th 2007 Byrnesrebel Said :
Byrnesrebel that was an awesome peom. :]
On July 9th 2007 cjaskot Said :
cjaskot the last part is a little...blah. but i love the rest!! its great! i love the first two lines!
On July 9th 2007 mcihellejane Said :
mcihellejane This one flows very well and I love the way you tell a story with it
On July 9th 2007 Slimsg Said :
Slimsg very well done!
On July 8th 2007 tinkerbell918 Said :
tinkerbell918 ur an awesome writer ♥ it
On July 8th 2007 mariahlee Said :
mariahlee your an amazing writer. i know, NO guys that could EVER write like this. your original. truely, amazing
On July 8th 2007 Tigga16 Said :
Tigga16 This is the bestest poem you've wrote yet. I love it! ^_^
On July 8th 2007 fallenxxseeker Said :
fallenxxseeker really sad..good tho...i wish i could write from the heart like that...when i get emotionally involved in my work my writing sux
On July 8th 2007 jarnotti Said :
jarnotti i love this good job keep it up
On July 8th 2007 101091 Said :
101091 Wow. I really like it, and I love the way it flows. It's sad but you are really talented with allowing the reader to feel the emotion through it. Great job.
On July 8th 2007 chickenbroth Said :
chickenbroth nice flow, very beautiful!
On July 8th 2007 Javellef Said :
Javellef Very good! I like how you describe the emotional death. Also I like the flow of your words.
On July 8th 2007 Burnterror Said :
my picture
Great flow, Good use of linking words.
On July 8th 2007 California1516 Said :
California1516 wow..i like it! hmm..one thing u could maybe possibly improve on is making it flow better...it seems a little..hmmm...i dont know how to describe it..lol..i think the last line stands out to me the most..idk why..prolly cuz i can relate to it :) if u keep writing you'll only get even better..i know thats blah advice cuz u prolly already know that..lol :)
On July 8th 2007 mazblondie Said :
mazblondie love the use of words, really liked the image it conjured in my mind,thanks for letting me read your work,let me no any more!!thanks
On July 8th 2007 SoftballLvr213 Said :
SoftballLvr213 ttly awesome. full of emotion. your good with words. very good.
On July 8th 2007 Xpoetxgurlx Said :
Xpoetxgurlx this is very sad....but really good. i love it! u really r talented about writing things u feel
On July 8th 2007 lilbuns777 Said :
lilbuns777 damn. very very very awsome.