I want to break down and let go forever

i want to let go of you. But you let go first. And now when i talk to you i long to hold you in my arms. The pain i get from having you away from me is a pain i dont want to share cause i still love you and you dont even know. If we could talk this over id kiss you amillion times.  To have you but then ill remember we let go. I will breakdown and cry antill i let go of you and i know that in your arms i could fell at home with myself. I could be in love again untill you make have this this felling and then iwant to break down and let go of you forever. And i know that you wont be there to catch me anymore.....