Lonelyness hurts

They say I'm light and cheery// That's all they really see// If they look down deeper// they'd see the sad side of me/// the side that's lonely//and a diffrent kinda pain//as I am standing in the non-exsisting rain///I do have a family//and a couple of friends// but would they try to save me//if my life was about to end///When I stand to the side// I do nothing but fear// would they even notice// if I was no longer here///I sit in the silence//and watch all the fun//sometimes I wish//my life was finnaly done/// I dream that they care//that I truely matter//but when I open my eyes// that dream just shatters///Why is it me//who has this awful fate//this lonelyness is something//that I really hate///I sit in the darkness//with a silent tear//I wish it was easy//to plainly disapear///There is fog//clouding my eyes//this solitude//makes me cry///Does this have//to be my life//I can't even//put up a fight//It's always me//who has no right//getting shoved into darkness//and out of the light//When I close my eyes at night//and try to fall asleep//I try to forget memories//that I don't want to keep///Memories of sadness//memories of pain//and of people//who don't love me in any way