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we kissed in the shadows...Rate this Poem
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heart, soul, all
Views (1346)
Created on 1-2-07
we kissed in the shadows
it was a dream, just mine
i tried to touch him
heart, soul, and all
he loved me then, denied me
lied to me then
whispers in the closet
a kiss on the cheek
it was young, fresh
God knows, it was sweet
i try to understand
why i don't forget it now
it was so pure, alluring
i got lost in blue eyes
wasted time, another guy
who wasn't worth my time
he did love me then, got me
did right by me then
i dreamt of latter days
better, much better days
when we laughed together
misunderstood, we were
it was so pure, alluring
now though, do you remember?
under the sheets in a dream
remember me, always please
heart, soul, and all
it was a dream, just mine
i tried to touch him
heart, soul, and all
he loved me then, denied me
lied to me then
whispers in the closet
a kiss on the cheek
it was young, fresh
God knows, it was sweet
i try to understand
why i don't forget it now
it was so pure, alluring
i got lost in blue eyes
wasted time, another guy
who wasn't worth my time
he did love me then, got me
did right by me then
i dreamt of latter days
better, much better days
when we laughed together
misunderstood, we were
it was so pure, alluring
now though, do you remember?
under the sheets in a dream
remember me, always please
heart, soul, and all
Please Login to post comments| On January 29th 2008 fawzia11 Said : | |
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I love it!
I can kinda relate to it a little bit!
I think this was fantabulous! Lol! |
| On May 13th 2007 blondemoment22 Said : | |
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absolutely incredible |
| On February 13th 2007 MrsWells06 Said : | |
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wow that is really good... love the work... keep it up:D |
| On February 7th 2007 chickenbroth Said : | |
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wow, amazing. Your a deep chick. Check out my stuff if you get the time. :) |
| On January 31st 2007 lonestarwaltzi Said : | |
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i LOVE remember me, always please
that is great! you have great 1liners |
| On January 30th 2007 sunny102 Said : | |
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Wow, I like it! |
| On January 25th 2007 MisterOno Said : | |
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Awesome. It shows the emotion very well. |
| On January 25th 2007 MisterOno Said : | |
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Awesome. It shows the emotion very well. |
| On January 24th 2007 Slyclever Said : | |
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I like this one! This has so much connection to a love I once had.. and you always hope that he remembers those days too and not the bad days... thanks for sharing... |
| On January 15th 2007 YoursTruly0586 Said : | |
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Very good |
| On January 13th 2007 BeccaAnn921 Said : | |
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i absolutely love this piece... |
| On January 13th 2007 CraZyRicky086 Said : | |
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This was a very great poem. It was brilliantly composed. |
| On January 10th 2007 nigerianboriqu Said : | |
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You gave so much in this peom that as a writer I can't help but apprecite. FIrst I would like to say you did a really good job with enjambment of the lines and they really flowed. I really don't like poems with enjambment because I sometimes pause where i shouldn't, but the lines just dort of flow into each other really smoothly. I also love the slant rhymes and internal rhymes more then the end rhymes. I think it goes back to how you have the end of teh sentences in the middle of the line which keeps the reader from pausing too long like they would if it was at the end of the line which also keeps them from pausing after every rhyme. I also can appreciate the long question that I dont realized is being asked until I get to the end of the sentence toward the bottom of the poem because it holds back. Revealing too little too soon is something I love about peoms. But what really sets off the long question is the short ness that follows it. I'm a fan, lol |
| On January 10th 2007 500nets Said : | |
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"bittersweet" was the word m4phi4vlad was probably looking for |
| On January 9th 2007 m4phi4vlad Said : | |
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wow... so... i dunno the word... but good |
