Pushpins

broken words fill me up like pushpins
tiny drops of blood emerge from skin's surface
mingled with the water and fear around me
pinkish swirls twist into soft curls
the past has followed me as a ghost
haunting nightmares in grey alomost forgotten
i let the memories fall to the floor
as if they were tightly bound clothes
slowly i am strangled by the nothingness
love is my mistress who has left me here
she demanded that i drown in misery
as her servant i find that i cannot disobey
i have allowed my own body's violation
every transparent surface has been scarred
i add to my pain with cuts of my making
punishment for emptying everything within
and leaving nothing for you to love.