Created By
Author's Comments
I hate this poem I wrote ten years ago.Rate this Poem
|
+
13
|
THE ENCHANTED RIVER |
|
+
8
|
The memories are REAL |
|
+
13
|
Short and sweet |
|
+
15
|
I |
|
+
17
|
WHY IS MY POETRY LITTERED WITH DOOM |
|
+
8
|
A VIOLENT ROMANCE |
|
+
15
|
LOVE IN A BOTTLE |
|
+
15
|
A PASSION FOR POPPIES |
|
+
9
|
ANIMAL AFFAIR |
|
+
10
|
73 TOPICS (to write about) |
|
+
6
|
The truth about JACK & JILL |
A VIOLENT ROMANCE
Views (90)
Created on 10-12-07
It is the most terrible thing I'd ever written.
I hate it so much, I re-edited it a little to make it worse, and here it is. Let me know if it's as bad as I think it is.
I put a knife in her head.
She wasn't dead, she got up and said,
You put a knife in my head.
My blood's not red, it comes out green instead.
I put a knife in her head.
I'm not well she said, it hurts but I'm not dead.
I put a knife in her head.
I know she should be dead, her blood was green not red.
I put a knife in her friend.
I would not recommend, this as a passing trend.
I put a knife in her heart.
She wouldn't tear apart, the shitty little tart.
I put a knife in her bread.
I made her eat instead, I made her eat the bread.
I held her heart in my hand.
I could not understand,
why her heart was black again.
JoN.
(c) June 1998,
second edit October 2007.
Please Login to post comments| On October 17th 2007 ESCAPEDFROMGOD Said : | |
|
DO NOT vote for this if you have a heart. |
| On October 13th 2007 PoeticPang Said : | |
|
eck,, lol,,, it's AWFULLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XDXDXDXD, jk,, it's abit childish,, the rhyming is like,, urgh?... but somehow,, it has this great inner depth ,, this profoundness in the colors and object situated into each event/situation.... oddly funny,, but,, terribly ,, well,, idk what to call it,, i'm not sure what u did to fix it into a worser stage,, but,, ,, yeah,, this could be a little diddy or lymeric thing,,,, fun-fun ^o^........ tis aight... just ,,, yeah,, idk?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Pang |
| On October 13th 2007 ESCAPEDFROMGOD Said : | |
|
|
I mean it's not a bad poem, just the subject makes me sad. Gotta take the bad with the good. I'm not a knife wielding maniac, by the way. And I've never stabbed anyone and don't wish to in the future. So I don't know what the influence was for this, I didn't even have a girlfriend. |
| On October 12th 2007 mazerthumpkin Said : | |
|
If you think it's so bad, why put it out for everyone to see? |
| On October 12th 2007 MrKeesee Said : | |
|
It's interesting, not really bad and not really good...congrats, you are the first person to ever leave my crazy ass so speachless. |
