Thoughts in my solitude

hey, i just thought I'de write an old fashioned poem, like the guys in the Reinessance did. I'm sick of all these emo poems about pain and killing yourselves just because the worlds not fair to you. This one is about pain and love. So i'm going to post this one, even though it sounds kind of emo, these are my feelings at the moment. So here it is:

The warmth of the night covers me as i sit on the porch, waiting. Waiting for nothing. The night air fills my lungs, the cool, relaxing smell of a barbeque some houses away makes me slide into a state of bliss, as the sun sets and the blue velvet curtain above my head turns darker, and the heavens appear, but only for a moment.

Then my pain returns.

I love this damsel, this angel, this perfect goddess. We once courted, but she left me after two and a half days only to find a crook. A person, not worthy of her. He whisperes to the other girls, flattering them with sweet nothigns behind her back. He does not deserve her. She deserves someone who would not do that to her.

I try to tell her what he does but her ears are closed to my words. Others tell her the same as I but she dismisses them. She needs to believe me, but refuses.

Ah I remember the days with her. I would stand with her at the side of her house, next to the chimney. I would hold her in my arms and kiss her. Her warm face inches from mine, her scent so amazing, so...familiar. Adrenaline releases into my body and my heart skips a beat, I am in heaven. In heaven with her.

Her wet blond hair brushes on my shoulder as i hold her hand on the beach of a lake. We sit on the dock, gazing into the endless blue and green pool, watching turtles come crawling upon a fallen tree.

Ah these moments with her. Just the two of us together, these stolen, rare moments of privacy. But I couldn't afford to get too close to her, not too emotionally attatched. I did. And so suddenly, the moments were gone, and she forgot about me loving her. I remember the pain in my heart like a thousand arrows falling, like a two ton brick crushing me.  I loved her, I still do.

But she only loves me as a friend now. We are friends, companions at the moment, but she still listens to the lies uttered by him. I do not know how to tell her, to tell her how much I love her. I love her, no, not only that, I am in love with her. In love with her personality, her voice, her opinions and thoughts and outlook. And even if it is near the end, if not last, on my list of things I love in women, her beauty. It shines with a radiance unlike any other, no matter what anyone else says.

She's so perfect. So rare, so delicate, like a flower. And now she is gone from me. Gone. At least, for now. And I am left, sitting on my porch, gazing upon the night sky. Alone in my solitude.