Save Me

Everyday, I want still, so bad, to be friends with everyone.
I guess as I grew up, I tried so hard to hide the person I used to be.
I knew that the person I was couldn't make it in the world without getting hurt.
I had been hurt too much, I couldn't handle anymore.
We moved.
So, I started to laugh, I joke, I am sarcastic, I make people laugh. Maybe thats why I am fake.
Yet, when people tell me I am pretty, or sexy, I wait for the joke, I wait for the slap.
Maybe thats why I am fake.
Because when I look in the mirror, I don't see me.
I see what I used to look like.
I didn't like me then.
I was quiet, and I was alone.
And I sit here, and I look back, and I realize that I am still her.
There is nothing I can do.
The choices that I have made have ruined my hopes for the future.
I don't think I can love.
I don't think I can love you.
I don't think you can love me.
So please, don't try.
Please don't, don't turn away.
I lay staring up into ceiling, tears gliding down my face.
Realizing, that again, I have lost, my enemies have won.
And I am once again crying.
I try to get up, I try to get angry.
But its been to long, to much, and I just want to crawl back under the covers and sleep forever.
Would you let me sleep?
Please don't, don't let me fall away.
Someone save me.
Save me from myself.
Someone let me feel love.
Feel what everyone around can feel.
Someone please save me from myself.